Charly|Germany

manywinged:

manywinged:

manywinged:

manywinged:

it would be fun if an angel and a vampire were friends i think

vampire: ugh, you mortals simply can’t comprehend the timescale i live on. i’ve watched your empires rise and fall, your cities crumble to dust. i find your short little lives amusing at best. i -

angel: HI, I HAVE BEEN ALIVE SINCE THE DAWN OF TIME AND I NOTICED YOU ARE ALSO SOMEWHAT OLD?

vampire: …sure. hey what was the dawn of time like?

angel: PRETTY BORING ACTUALLY. NOTHING ELSE EXISTED YET.

vampire: oh, man, i feel you. i slept through, like, the entire 14th century it was so boring. everyone was dying of plague and shit anyway so i didn’t miss much.

vampire: hey i am outside your apartment

angel: YOU’VE JUST BEEN STANDING THERE? FOR HOW LONG?

vampire: uhhhhhhh a mere speck in comparison to our immortal lives so don’t worry about it honestly. i need you to invite me in though.

angel: OF COURSE, I’M SO SORRY. PLEASE COME IN.

vampire: *steps over the threshold and immediately starts hissing and coughing like a cat with a bad hairball*

angel: OH, I’M SO SORRY. MY APARTMENT IS CONSIDERED HOLY GROUND BECAUSE I LIVE IN IT. I SHOULD HAVE WARNED YOU.

vampire: *coughing* it’s fine. do you - *cough* *wheeze* what are your thoughts on chinese? i know a great place just a couple of blocks from here

everyone replying to this with “and they were lovers”? target audience

(via mirai-prince)

problemcore:

miiilowo:

i should draw

great job guys. hit the showers

(via humilem)

digitaldiscipline:

sentientdessert:

body-of-ouches:

One thing that MASSIVELY pisses me off is how fainting is shown in media. It’s always the person sways a little, collapses in one movement, and then is unconscious for like… fucking ages??? They wake up hours later tucked under a blanket and it’s acted like that’s normal. It’s NOT. A person that’s fainted should be back with you pretty quickly, actually:

(From NHS website)

I had an experience in my last work place where I fainted, but because it looks so different to how it’s shown in film and TV my managers had no idea what had happened. Here’s a comparison of usual media vs my actual fainting that they were all confused by-

Films, TV shows, plays etc:

1) Person goes “oh goodness” or something similar whilst holding hand to chest

2) eyes roll back, gracefully falls to the floor

3) nearby people see the poor fainted person, pick them up, put them on a bed or sofa

4) person comes to hours or even days later with no idea what happened and everyone else is just like “oh good you’ve woken up 🙂”

My usual fainting experience:

1) Everything starts spinning. Incapable of making words as my sole focus is on trying to get myself to the ground ASAP

2) Stumble to floor/chair/ anything I can lean against

3) Quick violent slump as actual faint occurs. There is no dainty falling- the whole body has hit shut down. Usually smack my head on the floor if I haven’t managed to get myself somewhere soft

4) Aware of surroundings almost immediately, but takes a few seconds to fully come back round

5) Carefully sit back up and explain to everyone going “what the fuck happened” that I fainted, and no, I do not need smelling salts actually.

This is like the heart attack discourse…  much needed.

100% how fainting looks and feels, from both sides.

(via sbirb)

ronaldreagancutupwhiletalking:

this gif is like… almost biblical. as if hes experiencing a pharaohs curse…

(via hungwy)

animentality:

pinene:

occasionalesbianlovermariahcarey:

pinene:

occasionalesbianlovermariahcarey:

I hate calling in sick I don’t want to inform anyone about my abnormal bowel movements

I love it. I call them up and say hey bossman I’m camped out on the shitter today yeehaw

you are so beautiful in every way

We will get married on a windswept cliff and the dinner will be easily digestible

chikinan:

the idea that your friends won’t like you if you’re too weird is wrong for example one time I told a friend whenever I was losing my mind I laid down on the floor under my desk and stared at it until I was better and next time she visited me she taped a bag of salami snacks to the underside of my desk with a message saying “going insane all by yourself, handsome?” which I only saw months later when I had a breakdown. that’s friendship.